What are your beliefs about work?

The area where most of us spend most of our time is work; probably a third of our life is spent working. Still, for most people, it is not a fulfilling experience. Most people dream of Friday’s afternoons, dream of retirement, of never having to work again.

Why is that so?

If you were to ask yourself this question:

Work is………?

How would you feel in the gap?

Below are some common beliefs that some people have about work;

Can you relate to any of the above? To more then one?

Don’t worry, most people do. Every time a survey is conducted, most people state that if they did not need the money they would not go to work.

I think that says a lot!

Whenever we “have to do” something, it usually isn’t fun!

Think about it, when you see happy, successful and fulfilled people, usually they would be doing what they do, even if the money was not there.

So, here is my question to you;

“If you are not excited about going to work, if it is not exactly what you wanted to do, WHY do you go?

Your answer will also be one of your beliefs, and you should pay attention to it. It will reveal most of what you need to know, if you listen closely to yourself.

How did you answer my question?

Are you still going because you need the money?

Are you still going because the next place is going to be just as bad?

Or do you believe that it would be too hard to get anything else?

That you are too young? Or that you are too old?

Have you given up on your dreams so long ago, that you do not even remember what you really wanted to do?

You see, whatever your answer was it partly uncovered some of your beliefs. I say “partly” because most of our beliefs are unconscious. We have never really stopped and took a hard honest look at them. Still, they run our lives; they shape our actions and determine our results.

Are you beliefs about work supporting you?

Do you believe that you deserve to be doing work that is fulfilling and rewarding? Do you believe that you are worth of it? Do you believe that you have what it takes?

By having a look at your beliefs, and where required choosing more empowering ones, you start to change your idea of yourself, your identity.

Having started to change your expectations you will also start to take different actions, actions that are aligned with your new identity. Eventually the results you will be getting will reinforce your new beliefs. (If you would like to read more about the beliefs cycle, click here.)

Would you like to start discovering your limiting beliefs about work?

You can either book a one on one session with us, or you can download your free Belief Buster Workbook here.

Do you have a significant happy relationship?

Do you want one? Do you believe that it is possible to have?

What do you believe that you deserve?

I think that is quite an easy question to answer.

Look at your relationship, or lack of, and you probably get a clear picture of what you believe to be true.

Are you in a happy and fulfilling relationship?

If not, why is that?

In my experience, some of the common limiting beliefs people have include;

“I can never find the right person to love me, the way I am”

“It’s not me; he/she has changed since we first met”

“What is the point anyway; all relationships are doomed to fail”

“It’s too late for me to find love”

“I do not have time for a relationship”

“I’ll just get hurt again”

“I have to stay in this relationship; I can’t make it on my own”

Can you relate to any of the above? Most people can.

Latest statistics in the USA show that the average divorce rate is around 43% of all marriages, so I suppose that is normal to feel that the odds are against happy long lasting relationships.

Relationships are……?

Take a moment to fill in the blanks with your own answer. Say the sentence in your own mind, “relationships are……..?”

Which words did you use?

“Exciting, fulfilling, safe, caring, loving, sensual, etc.”

Or did you choose different words

“Painful, meant to finish, unsafe, scary, unreachable, etc”

Where did you shape your beliefs about relationships?

Where you brought up in a loving and caring marriage, or were your parents divorced and all you remember were the fights?

What were your first experiences like? Did you get hurt? More than once? Were you disappointed or betrayed, and now you find it hard to trust again?

Did you give many good years to a relationship, just to be put aside when the going got a bit rough?

I think that many of us have gone through at least some of the above.

It would certainly justify our current beliefs.

BUT, yes a big but, are these beliefs getting you what you want and need now?

Are they serving you? I would guess not.

I used the word “need” above on purpose. You see, my beliefs about relationships are probably somewhat different from most people.

I think, and more knowledgeable people than me think the same way, that it all starts when we are born.

It has been shown by studies, that when a baby is born needs to touched and feel a connection. (They still need it while growing up, as demonstrated by Harvard University)

Think about it, when you are a baby it is the only time in your life that you do not need to do anything to receive love. It’s unconditional!

The babies lies down, eats, drinks milk, cries, burps, and few other bodily functions, and all the people around stop and give love. Regardless of the behaviour.

“Oh, that was the cutest burp……well done……good baby…”

And the baby loves it. The baby is loved for “who” he/she is. Not for “what” he/she does.

The baby is loved just for “being”. Nothing else.

Of course, that does not last long. Eventually the levels of Oxytocins (the hormone released during child birth that also makes a mother bond with the baby to ensure the baby’s survival) decrease and things change.

Eventually the parents will start to say something like “Do not touch that or…….” “Do not do that or…..”

They will make it clear to the baby which behaviour they expect and what the reward for it is (love) or the punishment (not being loved).

For the first time the baby needs to “do” something to gain love.

Love is not unconditional anymore, it has to be earned

And I think that we go through life looking for that unconditional love again.

But it is not forthcoming.

We go to school and there are rules to follow to be considered a “good” student. (and we do not get good grades, are we going to be loved at home?)

The social group we belong to have rules for us to feel accepted. If we break them, we are out.

We go to work and there is a “culture” we are supposed to embrace to be accepted.

Religious groups do not tend to love people that do not follow their “rules”.

Then we discover relationships. Finally someone will love me just for “who” I am, right?

Well, I do not need to answer that for you. If you have ever been in a relationship you know that it does not always work that way.

The biggest mistake people make in any kind of relationships is to confuse the “behaviour” with the “person”.

“if you do…….., then you are………”.Or we attach a “meaning”. (read belief).

“If you do not call me often, then you do not love me!”

“If you loved me, then you would……..”, you fill in the blanks.

You see, we have set up a set of beliefs and rules for what it means for us to be loved.

Ask yourself this question:

How do you know that you are being loved?

It is an important question, because often we do not consciously think about it.

And even less frequently we let our partner know. They play a game without knowing the rules. (Or the rules keep changing). It is a “hit and miss” game that leaves everybody confused.

Often you hear a partner saying something like: “Never seems to make you happy, does not matter what I do.”

Would you like to start discovering your limiting beliefs about love and relationships?

You can either book a one on one session with us, or you can download your free Belief Buster Workbook here.

What makes you feel successful? What is that ‘thing” that is eluding you, which once you achieve it then you will successful? What are your “rules” about success?

“I will be successful when……..!” or
“If I have………, then I will be successful.”
How did you learned what success is? When did you choose which believe to adopt in regard to success?
Are you trying to be successful to prove something to someone?
Are you telling yourself that is too late to be successful? That you will never be successful?
(If you do not know what your beliefs about success are, get your free copy of the Belief Buster Workbook now!)
I am going to make a guess, about your beliefs. I think that if you are not feeling successful right now, as you are, it is because you bought into a false premise. Most people have! And it goes something like this:
“When I have (X), then I can do (X) and I will be (X)!”
Let me give you some examples;
“When I have more money, then I can buy a bigger house and I will be happy”.
“When I have a better job, then I can manage people and I will be respected”.
“When I have my own business, then I can do what I want and I will be free”.
The premise with this way of thinking is that first we have to “HAVE’ something, so that we can “DO” something and that will enable us to “BE” something.
If you think about it, everything we have and do serves the function to make us “feel” something.
The purpose of everything we do is to either “feel” or “avoid feeling” a certain emotion.
The fact is that if we believe that the feeling will come from what we have or do, it is a false premise. Because you end up giving control of how you feel to something external.
What you have, may not be there tomorrow. And something may come up to prevent you from doing something.
You see this everyday in people’s life.
Some people attach their being “successful” or “happy” to having money, and then the money is lost, stole or wiped out by the stock market.
Some people feel successful with the great job title. Till they are made redundant, and then they may feel like a failure.
For others happiness and success is represented by a happy relationship. Which is great, unless your partner decide to leave you. And then?
I don’t think that there is anything wrong with wanting a great job, a lovely relationship or plenty of money. I want all of these things too. It is only when we base our “identity” on it that we have a problem.
It is a problem because we are giving something external the power to make us feel happy and successful. We have no control over it.
What if you were to change your belief?
I am suggesting a different modus operandi, a different way to approach life.
Instead of “having, doing and in the end being”, what if were to start at the end?
What if choose to believe that you can be happy and successful now? As you are, wherever you are with whatever you have. Doing what you are doing.
What if you decided to be “successful”, and then you went about doing and having?
I can almost hear your thoughts. “What is he talking about? I can’t just choose to be successful, can I?”
Of course you can, actually you are already doing it.
Think about it. When did you decide that doing or having something would mean you are successful?
Isn’t just an arbitrary rule that you (either consciously or unconsciously) choose as you grew up?
Look at your beliefs about success. When did you choose them? Did you choose them, or were they someone else’s? Are you trying to prove something to someone? To yourself or to others?
What if you were to believe that you are successful just for being?
And as you already are successful, whatever you choose to do or not do, have or not have, will not shape “who” you are.
Wouldn’t that be great?
Easy said, right? You are probably thinking something like;
Ok, even if I wanted to change my belief about Success, how do I go about it?
Well, as we said before, the first step is to acknowledge your current belief.
Once you are aware of them, ask yourself; “Where did I learn this?” “Whose voice can I hear inside me?” You will be surprised by the answer at times.
I remember once doing a one on one session on a similar topic with a lady. As she busily listing all the things that needed to happen for her to feel successful, I interrupted her with a simple question: “Whose voice are you hearing now?”
She was startled for a second, and before even realizing it she replied “My mother’s….” And her eyes went wide with surprise as she never realized it before. She was trying to become successful according to her mother’s model. Not her own. An impossible task.
I think that so many people are always so anxious to be successful, without even really stopping and checking what does that mean.
What do you need to feel successful? (And remember that is just a feeling, you can experience at any time you want).
Try this exercise:
1. Write down a list of things that you think you need to feel successful, leaving some space between each line.
2. After you have finished writing the list, go back to the beginning and ask yourself this question for each item: “How having or doing this does makes me successful? Where did I pick up this belief?” This will uncover a deeper belief.
3. Repeat the question for any subsequent belief that comes up.
4. Read through your answers and look for learning about yourself and what is important for you to experience in life.

Would you like to start discovering your limiting beliefs about success?
You can either book a one on one session with us, or you can download your free Belief Buster Workbook here.

If you are not sure how to fill the blanks, just look at your money situation.
That is your answer! Simple as that.
You see, whatever you belief is demonstrated by the results you create in your life. Therefore, whatever you are experiencing in your financial situation is directly related to your beliefs.
There is one underlying belief area that shapes how we feel about money.
Do I deserve it? Am I worth of it?
Just like when dealing with beliefs about relationships, it all comes down to self worth.
Some common beliefs that people have about money include;
“I f I do not make ‘X’ amount of money I am a failure”
“I’ll never make enough money”
“Money does not grow on trees”
“Money makes people greedy’
“If I am rich, people will only love me for my money”
“Easy comes, easy goes”
Can you relate to any of the above? Most people can, at least in a small way.
As we have explained in a different article, the only truth about money is that “Money is a good that acts as a medium of exchange in transactions”.
Everything else is a belief that we have attached to it.
If you ever experienced challenges with your finances, or if you would like to create a wealthier lifestyle but does not seem to succeed, is because something is getting in the way.
Consider this; the economic circumstances are the same for everybody. Knowledge and tools are available in equal measure. New opportunities are being found every day.
What is stopping you from achieving the level of wealth you want?
Have you ever stopped and really looked at your beliefs about money? Do it now! Stop reading and get started with your free Belief Buster Assessment workbook now.
Where did you learn these beliefs?
How was your family attitude about money? Did your parents worked hard for little?
Or did you grow up in an environment that pushed you in believing that money was important, but never felt right inside?
Most people have mixed feeling about money. It is not something we feel good about discussing openly.
It is not considered polite to ask how much someone earns. Or how much they paid for something.
In one of his books Bob Proctor uses a great example. He says, “Imagine your are in a room with your friends and family. Imagine you look at them and then say loudly I want be wealthy, very wealthy. How would that make you feel?” He then goes on to suggest that for most people, it would be a difficult thing to do. We often have negative associations with money.
We are afraid that others may judge us, think that we are greedy, materialistic or superficial.
What do you believe?
Changing your beliefs about money is the first step in changing your financial reality.
Once you have beliefs that actually support you and empower you, you will take the actions necessary to create the level of wealth and financial freedom that you want. And deserve!
Would you like to start discovering your limiting beliefs about money?
You can either book a one on one session with us, or you can download your free Belief Buster Workbook here.

If you “Google” it, you will see more than 51Million pages! If you walk into any bookshop you will find hundred of books that deal with the topic. If you are awake at the wee hours of the morning with the television on, you can buy CDs that promise to give it to you on a silver platter.

Motivation, we all want it but it seems that only few really know where it is.

Let me share my view on this;”Motivation does not work!”

I know that it may sound strange, considering the many businesses that are out there selling it, and considering that everybody wants to be more motivated.

Motivation does not work because it isn’t what you really need!

Let me explain by starting with a definition from the dictionary; “Motivation: the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal“.

It is “something” that gets you out of inertia and makes you “move” toward or away something. So far so good, but there is a small detail that makes it inefficient.

Motivation is an external pressure applied to generate change.

Can you see a pattern in the above common statements? Every time we think that we (or someone else) need motivation it is because something “should” be done.

In simple English it translates like this: I should but I do not want to!

And as I do not want to, I need motivation. So we find (or give) motivation by way of stick or carrots. We read books, we go to seminars, we listen to CDs, we give a pep talk to our team and even bribe them with a pay-rise and benefits.

And what happens after a while? The motivation goes away and the inertia re-appears.

This is because motivation is an external force applied to generate movement. Just like pushing on the accelerator in a car. Till pressure is applied on the gas pedal, the car moves. As soon as we remove the foot, the car starts to slow down and eventually stop. We need to push again on the gas pedal.

Motivation needs to be continuously re-applied to maintain momentum.

The issue here is your beliefs about that word we used so often in the examples above: “Should”.

When you believe that you “should” be doing something, you are already setting yourself for defeat, unconsciously you are saying to yourself that you do not want to do it.

The secret is to change your beliefs so that you “Want” to do it. When you want to do something you do not need motivation. You do not need to read a book to get you excited about doing something you love.

You do not need a motivational seminar to get you moving towards something you really want.

Are your beliefs what are holding you back?

What if you were to choose new beliefs that actually would get you “Inspired” about what you need to accomplish? Would that serve you better?

You see, inspiration comes from within. (The Oxford dictionary defines inspiration as : inspire; to infuse into the mind.) Think about something that you really enjoy doing or that have a very strong reason for doing. It probably does not require much effort from your part. You believe that you want to do it.

The secret of generating and maintaining “movement” for you and/or your team is to move from motivation to inspiration.

That is effectively done by challenging and reframing personal and team beliefs. Once your beliefs are aligned with the outcome, you will want to do it. In a team is even more important to have alignment between individually held beliefs, otherwise you will be forever trying to find new way to “motivate” your staff.

Wouldn’t be great if your team learnt how to use beliefs to move from motivation to inspiration?

Would it be useful for you and your managers to learn how to conversationally challenge beliefs so to bring alignment within the team values?

At belief Buster, we have put together an effective training module to assist you and your team challenging limiting beliefs. If you would like to receive a training outline for this module, please click here.

If you would like more information about any of our services, you can visit our Services page, or call us on 04 2527 3238

If there is an area in the workplace that is filled with limiting beliefs, feedback is the one!

Most people have preconceived limiting beliefs about what it means to give and receive feedback.

For most people receiving feedback is not easy, giving feedback is even harder.

How does your team feels like about “Performance reviews”?

How do the managers feel about conducting them?

We believe that giving and receiving feedback can be done with grace, without causing discomfort to either the provider and the receiver. Feedback does not have to be taken as a personal attach, if given correctly.

But, what is about feedback that makes people cringe?

It has a lot of to do with the way we were brought up, and I am not trying to pass the responsibilities to our parents. They did what they felt was right. But is fair to say that often, when people are growing up and during their formative years, they have the first few experiences with feedback at home, at school and later at work. For many people this first experience went something like this:

“Look what have you done, spilling the milk all over the table. You are so clumsy!”

“You should not pull your sister’s hair. You are a mean boy!”

“You did not study enough, you are so lazy.”

“Your sales for the year were ok, but we expected more from you.” Etc.

Can you see a pattern in the examples above?

There is no separation from the person and their behaviour. It  has been lumped together, so that the feedback about a behaviour becomes a personal attack. Even if it was well meant.

I believe that people are not their behaviour. We all have, at times, done something “stupid”, but does not make us stupid. It is fundamental to remember this:

We are NOT our behaviour!

It can be destructive to someone’s self image to be “labelled” negatively at a young age. And unfortunately it often keeps occurring even as adults.

We tend to give and receive feedback as a reflection of our own personal experiences. The basic model of the “sandwich” technique (whereby you give feedback for improvement between two “slices” of positive comments) does not work anymore. Everybody just listen to the “filling” (the negative part) and disregard the rest.

When giving feedback and performance appraisals, it is important to be aware of possible limiting believes the receiver has, and have a proven structured approach to it.

We have developed a short training session that deals with the most common limiting beliefs regarding feedback, and that shows how to overcome them.

Would your managers benefit from learning how to give (and receive) feedback?

Could your team improve their feedback skills and learn how to detach themselves emotionally to feedback about their performance?

At belief Buster, we have put together an effective training module to assist you and your team challenging limiting beliefs. If you would like to receive a training outline for this module, please click here.

If you would like more information about any of our services, you can visit our Services page, or call us on 04 2527 3238

How do you feel about communicating?

The most common false belief about communication is that most people actually believe that is taking place. Often it is not!

We believe that just because we are saying something, the other person(s) is understanding it the way we meant it.

Just because we are saying something, either verbally, visually or in writing, it does not mean that it will have the effect that we wish.

We know that we filter information,(to read more about how we filter information click here), and we know that there is a good chance that our message will be distorted by the person receiving it.

Some common limiting beliefs about communication include;

“People do not do what I say because they are unreliable.”

“Why should I spend time on improving my communication? It is fine as it is.”

“It’s not me, it’s them that do not understand!”

“To be a master communicator requires too much effort.”

Do any of the above sound familiar? For many people, they do.

The biggest challenge to effective communication is the belief that the receiver is responsible for understanding. If you believe that, you have just abdicated control of the communication process.

When communicating, it is important to start at the beginning. (Sounds obvious, does it not? But so many people seem to completely miss the following point.)

What is the point of your communication?

Often we could be sending mixed messages in our communication. Living the receiver perplex of what was the real point of it.

Other times we may not be paying attention to how the other person may be filtering our message.

Do you believe that is important to learn what triggers a response to our message?

Do you believe that you should take responsibility for the communication process?

Do you believe that effective communication could benefit your organization and its teams?

We do! We believe that the foundations of effective communication can be thought in a relatively short session. Of course, the skills learnt need to be practiced, but the secret behind how people interpreter what we say is fundamental to effective communication.

At belief Buster, we have put together an effective training module to assist you and your team challenging limiting beliefs. If you would like to receive a training outline for this module, please click here.

If you would like more information about any of our services, you can visit our Services page, or call us on 04 2527 3238

Every business needs new ideas. Markets change, competitors show up, times change, and we need to come up with something new. Or a new position is created and a new person appointed to that role.

But how does the team feels about new ideas? What are their beliefs about something new being tried? How do they react to a new person instigating change?

I wish I had a dollar for every time that I sat at a meeting and heard one of the following sentences;

“What is the point anyway, nothing ever changes…”

“We have tried something like that before and did not work….”

“But we have always done it the other way here….”

“Nothing ever changes, anyway…”

“This is going to be more work for me…”

I would be a rich person.

We know that most people resist change by instinct. Change requires effort, and we already have established beliefs based on how change was experience in the past.

Limiting beliefs about change are not only an impediment to personal growth, but they can stifle a whole company and arrest business development.

Companies spend so much time and money to plan for change and to implement it. Usually most of the effort is directed at internal communication, having consultants come up with an implementation plan, or, in the case of a new role being filled or created, relying on individual effort.

We feel that there is an area that usually gets left untouched.

How does your team feels about change?

Without looking at the current (usually unconscious) beliefs that people have about what change means, most other efforts are doomed to fail. We may have the best intentions, ensuring that the message is going across in a clear manner.

But unless the team is actually open to the new idea, the new procedure, the new manager, and so on, there is a good chance that in the background change will be rejected.

To ensure that change is embraced, not merely tolerate or even worst sabotaged, it may be worthwhile to ensure that the currently held beliefs are busted.

The most effective way of shifting limiting beliefs regarding change is to guide the people involved in a reframing exercise. Only by giving a new meaning to what change is and how it will affect us, we can then move forward with an open mind.

We have developed a short training module that guides participants through a structured process to uncover current limiting beliefs and then assist them in busting them, leaving space to create new beliefs that actually embrace change.

At belief Buster, we have put together an effective training module to assist you and your team challenging limiting beliefs. If you would like to receive a training outline for this module, please click here.

If you would like more information about any of our services, you can visit our Services page, or call us on 04 2527 3238

How do you feel about selling?

This is probably the business area (especially for small businesses) where limiting beliefs come out and play.

For many people there are so many negative associations with the act of selling, and it reflects in the level of success they achieve.

Some of the most common limiting beliefs about selling include:

“Selling is hard”

“People do not need what I have to offer”

“There are no money around, we are in a crisis”

“Why should they buy from me?”

“What if I get rejected?”

“I hate cold calling”

“I don’t want to come across too pushy”

And the list goes on… Can you relate to some of the above?

So many books are written about selling techniques! So many ‘motivational’ workshops are conducted to get people excited about selling!

You have probably been there yourself; you read the book, listen to the tapes, even go to the workshop. You “hi-five” strangers next to you, you yell “yes….yes” over and over. By the end of the seminar (or the book or CD) you are excited! You are pumped! You are going to sell!!! There is no stopping you!

Then, may be a day or two later, (if not hours), the excitement slows down. The list of prospects is still in front of you. May be you gave it a go, and after few ‘rejections’, you found other things to do. More urgent things for sure!

If that’s the case, you are not alone.

These books, CDs and seminars are great. if you are after ‘techniques’ or a quick boost. Unfortunately, for most people that is not the issue. Most people that have something to sell, and we all do even if just ourselves, and struggle with it do not lack techniques.

Most people know what would be the appropriate thing to do to became effective selling machines.

The issue is twofold, but related to the same concept. First of all is the ‘beliefs’ you have about selling.

• Do you believe that people need and want what you have to offer?

• Do you believe that your product or service is worth of the money you ask for? How do you feel about discussing the price?

• Do you believe that competing products and services are better than yours?

• How do you deal with rejection?

If people do not want your service or products, are they rejecting you personally? Well, you ‘intellectually’ know that the answer is no, but what about your unconscious belief?

The second part of the issue is related to how you relate to money in the first place. How do you feel about talking money? Are poverty conscious or wealth conscious? (If you don’t know, find out with your free Belief Buster Workbook.)

Think about it, you may be learning the techniques, you may be getting motivated, but if deep inside there is a part of you that does not believe that you are worth of it, you will forever struggle with sales.

I meet so many people that do not have polished communication skills, that have never done a “sales” seminar. But they are great salespeople, because they believe that what they have to offer is of value. They believe in their product and service, and are not afraid to discuss money.

What do you believe about your service or products?

Are you worth of doing business with?

Till you can answer that question with a certain and loud “Yes!”, selling will always be uncomfortable.

Would busting your current limiting beliefs and choose new one be a more effective and long lasting solution to your sales issues? You bet!

Take a moment to look your beliefs over, in total honesty. Ask yourself the following questions;

“What are your beliefs about people that find it easy to sell?”

“What thoughts make you uncomfortable about selling?”

“What excuses do you regularly use to put selling off?”

“If they are not buying from you, are they rejecting you personally?”

By answering the above questions, you have taken the first step in busting your beliefs. You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge!

At belief Buster, we have put together an effective training module to assist you and your team challenging limiting beliefs. If you would like to receive a training outline for this module, please click here.

If you would like more information about any of our services, you can visit our Services page, or call us on 04 2527 3238