Imagine you are sitting down with your friends to play a new board game. Imagine that they hand out some cards, a pair of dice and some plastic place holders.

What is the first question you would ask them?

I am guessing that it would be something like; “How do we play? What are the rules?”

There is no point in playing a game if you do not know “the rules”. First we must agree on a set guideline of conduct, the “rules”. Just like in any sport. Imagine if there were no rules during any type of match. I am not sure that would be fun either playing or watching it.

“Rules” are important, just like keeping score is. To continue with the sport analogy, imagine nobody kept score, would the match be as exciting? I am not sure. The fun is winning! (And, as they say “Whoever said that winning is not important, probably lost.”) I am not so sure that the Olympic Games would be so popular if no medals were given out.

It is the same in life. Think about it, how do you know if you are happy with your life, your job, your partner and so on? You probably have some expectations (probably at an unconscious level) about what feeling good (read winning) is like in each area. To be happy or unhappy, you must have some expectations that have been either met or not.

Your rules! And they usually go something like this:

“If…….., then……….” Let me give you some examples and see if you can relate.

“If I get a promotion, then I am successful.”

“If you call me often, then you love me.”

“If I make ‘X’ amount of $, then people will respect me.”

“If I buy a new car, then people will envy me.”

Of course, this also works in the negative.

“If you don’t call me every day, then you don’t love me.”

“If I don’t get a promotion, then I am a failure.”

“If I don’t make X amount of $, then people won’t respect me.”

“If I don’t buy a new car, then people will think I can’t afford it.”

The interesting part is that we all have these unwritten “rules” about what is important to us. The unfortunate thing is that:

1. Most of the time we do not even know what they are.
2. Even if we know what they are, we do not communicate them to people that should know them.
3. We usually do not stop and assess if these rules are serving us or not.

Your “rules” are just your beliefs about what need to happen for you to feel good or stopping feeling bad.

“What must happen for you to feel good? To be happy?”

Stop for a moment and give some consideration to this question, because the answer you give is very important.

And after you have your given your answer, (and I do hope that you did take the time to do so) ask yourself “and when did I decided that?”

You see, often we create our rules early on in life, often unconsciously. Then we spend most of our mature life trying to win a game that maybe we are not been interested in anymore.

Often we measure what we have achieved based on other people’s expectations of us. Like our parents, our school, our friends, our partner, etc. At other times we want to “win” in a certain way to prove something to someone, and often is not ourselves.

Do you know what your “rules” are?  Do you know what you believe that has to happen for you to feel good or stopping feeling bad?

Only once you know what rules you are playing by you have a chance to “win”. And by knowing your rules, you have the opportunity to share them with others, so that they can also “win” in their relationship with you.

If you would like to start discovering your beliefs about what needs to happen for you to feel good, you may contact us for a one on one session, or you can download your free Belief Buster Worbook here.

Limiting Beliefs tend to fall into 3 distinct categories;

1. Hopelessness
2. Helplessness
3. Worthlessness

This distinction is a very useful tool to help you get at the root cause of your beliefs.

To make this concept simple to understand, let’s take the example of someone not being able to achieve his/hers goals, and feeling dejected by this.

By using the model above, the resulting beliefs would sound something like this:

As the term implies, when we have this kind of belief we think that there is no hope.

It does not matter what we try, who we ask, what we do: “It cannot be done”. Stop.

Of course there are (unfortunately) times when this may be true. If you are an elite sport person training for a gold medal at the upcoming Olympiads, and you have an accident that leaves you paralysed, than it is realistic that you may feel hopeless towards your goal.

Fortunately, for most of us, that is not the case. Usually, there is a good chance that we have a limiting belief, and that in fact our goal can be achieved.

Our world is full of examples that illustrate people overcoming incredible obstacles to achieve their outcome.

Click on the video below to watch an amazing woman choosing her beliefs.

The second category is a feeling of helplessness.

An accurate description of this feeling is:

“A lack of self-trust, an inability to establish a sense of trust in yourself so that you can open yourself up to be vulnerable to hurt and failure by taking a risk to “do for” yourself.”

This belief tends to stop people from trying, and often makes them look at others for support. Creating a sense of dependency and self fulfilling prophecy of inability.

The last category is:

This belief is often unconscious.

Something has happened in the past to make us feel that for some reason we are not “worth it” or we are “not enough”.

I remember a personal experience that really shocked me.

Few years ago, I was participating at my very first “personal development” seminar. (I am omitting the name of the organization on purpose, as I do not really endorse their methods now).

One of the exercises involved all participants to go around the room and introduce themselves to every other person by their biggest limiting belief.

Therefore instead of going up to someone and saying: “Hello, I am Susan/Mark/Jim etc…” You would say something like: “Hello, I am too stupid/short/tall/ etc.”

Well, about 75% of the people all said the same thing when shaking hands:

HELLO, I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH

At the time it shocked me. All these people taught that everyone else was good enough, BUT not them! They felt that they were inadequate, and most of the room felt that way.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since that first vent, and I have learnt few things. If someone were to approach me now and say those words, my reply would be: “Good enough for what?”

Since then I have learnt that, for most people, limiting beliefs are often a result of an unconscious issue related to self worth. You see, when we believe that we are worthy of something we also usually belief that we can achieve it. We belief that there is a way.

When we give up on something, is usually because we do not believe deep inside that we’ll ever be able to achieve it. We are not worth of it. You see this often in regards to relationships, careers and financial situations.

Regardless if you feel hopeless, helpless or worthless, have a look at your beliefs, the unconscious ones as they dictate your actions and therefore your results.

How can you uncover your unconscious beliefs?

You can either book for a one on one session with us or you can download your free Belief Buster Workbook here.

Let’s look at this cycle in detail as it is the basis of the reality that we experience in life.

Usually our beliefs are the basis what we can expect to achieve, have, do and contribute.
Our potential is just a reflection of what we believe ourselves capable of.

Most people have a misconception about “potential”, and are not even sure how to define it. An apt definition from the dictionary is:
Potential;
Adj.
• Capable of being but not yet in existence; latent

Noun
• The inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or coming into being.
• Something possessing the capacity for growth or development.

I f we look at nature, things are quite simple in their complexity.
You take a tomato seed and, unless you decide to genetically modify it, the potential is limited to grow into a mature tomato plant.
There isn’t really any other “capacity for growth and development”. Of course, there is potential for plants to cross pollinate and create different seeds, but the seed itself has a limited potential.
For humans it is more complex. Especially in regards to emotional, intellectual and spiritual “potential”.

Imagine you walk into your local hospital; go straight to the maternity ward.
There, all cutely lined up, are all the new born babies.
Some are sleeping, some are feeding and of course, some are crying.
You take one in your hands and look at it.

Trying to define the potential (the inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or coming into being) of this baby would be impossible. Could you put any labels on him/her?
Could you say any of the following?
“You will be a smart and successful person”.
“You will be a failure that will never achieve much”.
“You will never be happy”
“You will be respected and acknowledged”.
Could you? Of course not! This baby has the potential to achieve anything and everything! (And so do you, by the way.)
So what will determine what this baby will achieve when he/she will grow up?
You may think that the environment will play a part, and you would be partially right. Surely education and experiences will play their role.
But in the end, the only limit on this baby’s potential is his/hers own belief about what he/she can achieve.
Depending on what we believe our potential to be, we will take or avoid specific actions.
If I believe that I have the potential to create a successful business, I will go ahead and take the actions required to do so.
Inversely if I believe that I lack that potential I may never take that step. Another example is young man intent to approach an attractive girl.
If this boy believes that he has the potential to attract an attractive female, he will take confident and decisive steps to approach the girl and ask her out.
But if he believes that he does not have the potential to attract an attractive girl, he may not approach her, or if he did anyway, probably his attempt would be weak and uncertain.

The actions we take (or not take) will determine the results we get (or not get).

It is obvious that the results we experience in life are a direct consequence of the action we have taken. Sure, some people may argue that “others are to blame” for their circumstances.
Some people blame their parents, their spouses, the government, etc. They believe that their lack of results is not their fault.
Let me tell you something that I believe; they are in denial. Sure, at times things do happen to us that are beyond our control, sometimes bad things. But we are always in control of HOW we decide to respond to what has happened. We are ALWAYS in control of the “meaning” that we want to attach to events.
Therefore, if we are not getting the results we want, we can always try new actions, behaviours and beliefs, till we achieve what we want.
Therefore, if you are not getting the results you want in your life, ask yourself: “What do I need to change to achieve my goal? What beliefs and actions would get me closer to my goal?” Ask yourself these questions, and notice what happens.
Naturally, as we have seen before, the results we get will reinforce our beliefs or assist us in creating a new one.
If we started out believing that we could not achieve something, but tried anyway and then found out that we can actually do it, there is a good chance that our belief has been challenged enough for us to form a new one. Do you remember how you felt the first time you jumped from a high trampoline into a pool? For most people there was a belief that they were going to die, till they jumped anyway, and survived. The belief changed instantly into “Jumping is fun!”
Of course, there are some people that, regardless of the results they get, find it hard to let go of their beliefs regardless of the results they get. That is because their beliefs shape their identity so profoundly that by allowing a belief to be changed would be too traumatic.
A sad and common example is people with an eating disorder. They believe that they are fat and that if they eat even a little they will get even fatter. Nothing is going to change that belief, not the feedback from friends of families, not the feedback from a loved one, not the advice from the doctor, not the reflection in the mirror, not the size of their clothes that shrinks down. Their belief is too strong; it is a reflection of some other internal “issue” they are facing. And until they change their beliefs nobody will succeed in helping them change their actions (the non eating).
To explain further why I think that working with the belief system is fundamental; let me give you another example.
In the last couple of years a film has gained notoriety worldwide; “The secret”. In case you never hear of it, let me give you a very quick synopsis. Famous personal development gurus explain that you can (to an extent) control your external circumstances by directing the focus of your attention on what you want to “manifest” (create) in your life. By focussing on what you want with a sense of expectation and by visualising (creating mental pictures of what you want to achieve) your goal you will influence your external reality. I am obviously giving a very short summary that does not give credit to the amount of detail the movie goes into. I suggest that if you are interested in the topic you watch the movie.
As I know many people that have watched the movie and tried the suggested technique, I was able to observe a pattern in the results achieved by practicing the above technique. Usually the result would follow into two categories:
1. They tried the visualization and manipulating their feelings, but nothing happened. They did not get what they wanted.
2. They used the technique and it worked for some things, but not for all of them.
This made me think. Why would a technique work for some people and not for others, and why not all the time? A little investigation made me believe (it is just my interpretation of events, not a provable fact) that the people that were successful were so because they already believed that they could achieve their goal.
I do believe that by creating internal pictures of what we want to achieve we influence the unconscious mind. I believe that by placing ourselves in a positive and supportive state we are more probable of achieving our goal. BUT only if, at an unconscious level, we believe that we are capable or worth of it.
If deep inside we do not believe that we are capable or worth of something, no technique will ever get us there.
That is why most people get frustrated with the process and give up. They did not uncover and address their current limiting beliefs.
Therefore my suggestion is that before (or at least while) you start changing your actions, you also address your beliefs. Because at the end it will be your beliefs that will determine your outcomes.
To learn more about your beliefs and to start changing them, you can download your free Belief Buster Workbook here.

Let’s have a look at difference between Facts and Beliefs, as it is an important distinction.

We give a “meaning” to everything that happens to us, as external events have no meaning of their own. (Click here to read about how we filter events). 

If you think about it, to be able to function in a healthy way in society, we need to be able to make “sense” of what is happening to us and respond accordingly. We experience, we learn and we remember.

You see, one of the most important things that our mind does is to try to make sense of what happens to us, to give it a “meaning”.

We then use this ‘meaning’ to foresee what will happen next. Our mind (a combination of our conscious and unconscious) takes each of our experiences (and its consequences) and comes to conclusions. These conclusions, about ourselves, others, things and life, become our own personal beliefs. In short, beliefs are thoughts we create to give meaning, a quick reference guide we use internally. They are created and used (often unconsciously) throughout our lives, with the peak being during our formative period between 0 and 7 years. This is the period when we start shaping our personality that is the sum of our beliefs and values.

Often we are not even consciously aware of what our beliefs are. We have adopted an “identity” that we think (or believe) that represents who we are. It is like a filter by which all external events (what happens to us) are passed through, and a meaning is given. These beliefs filter our life automatically and our internal dialogue responds as programmed.

Once we have some basic beliefs in place, based on past experiences and the meaning we have associated, we are likely to filter any experience through these beliefs. This will usually tend to reinforce them.

So, how can we tell the difference between a fact and a belief?

 A definition of “FACT”:

• an event known to have happened or something known to have existed
• a concept whose truth can be proved

As the definitions above implies, a fact can be proved. Not just by us, but by anyone. It can be demonstrated by external evidence.

A definition of “BELIEF”:

• a  psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true

As we can see from the above, the main difference between a fact and a belief is that a belief may only be “true” for us. While a fact is “true” for everybody.

A belief is a very subjective thing. It variates from one person to another. It is a personal interpretation or a proposition we have held as truth.

Let me give you an example:

Money is……….

 FACT:

“Money is a good that acts as a medium of exchange in transactions.”

As you can see, in the above statement there is no judgement value. It just states a fact. It does not have any implied moral value.

Beliefs:

“Money is the root of all evil”

“Money is hard to get”

“Money is something that makes people greedy”

“Money is necessary to do good in the world”

“Money is quickly earned”

The above are beliefs not facts. Some people may have one of the above (or more) but another person may feel differently.

A “belief” implies a judgement, an interpretation based on our past experiences. (Or the experiences of people we are in contact with. Often our beliefs about money, for example, come from our family).

So, how can you tell if are dealing with a fact or a belief?

To start off, ask yourself the following questions:

“Is this proposition true for everybody? Would it apply to anybody?”

For example, if you find yourself thinking “Life is hard” and you were to ask yourself the above question, the answer would be “no”. Obviously there are people that feel (believe) that life is not hard. If you find yourself thinking “It is impossible to find a happy relationship” and applied the above question, the answer would again be “no”. I am sure that if you look around there are people convinced that they have found a happy relationship to be in.

A second tool you can use to determine if it is a belief or not, is to check for an adverb of frequency such as “always, never, every, etc”.

The use of any of these adverbs usually indicates a belief, For example, if you were to say to yourself “People never understand me”, simply ask yourself “never?” Obviously that is not the case, I am sure that if you ask for a coffee in a coffee shop you would be understood (unless you are in a foreign country of which you do not speak the language).

If you find yourself thinking “I always make mistakes” ask yourself “always?”. Obviously not, you are just generalizing as a reaction to something that did not come out the way you intended.

Once you are clear that you are dealing with a belief, and not with a fact, you have taken the first step to be able to change it. As a famous person often says “You can’t change what you do not acknowledge”.

To learn more about you can start changing your limiting beliefs today please visit our resource section for your free Belief Buster Workbook.

Do you ever stop and wonder how we create the reality that we experience every day?

Because, you see, what we call “reality” is only our “interpretation” of something that is happening within us or on the external environment.

It feels “real” to us, but is it?

Let’s take a look at how we actually create it!

It all starts, usually, with an “external event“.

If you think about it, from the moment you get in the morning, you are always responding to external events. You are getting ready to go to work and maybe your kids don’t want to wake up, making you late.

On the way to work you stop for fuel, but the pump is out of service. As you make your way in traffic, some people decide that cutting in front of you makes them move quicker.

When you finally get to work the phone starts ringing, emails come in, people walk in the shop, and maybe a colleague is sick.

And so on. Most of our day is spent respond to external events.

It is HOW we respond to these events that changes our reality.

Do we get upset with our kids and start screaming?

Do we give in to road rage and get upset as people cut in?

Do we look at our work environment and notice all that is wrong with it?

Do we do the same in our relationships?

It all comes down to how we “filter” these events, to determine how we “respond” to them. Our “response” is our “reality”.

The first filter we use is “Deletion”.

Imagine if your brain had to make sense of all that you see, hear and feel during a normal day! It could not cope with it.

You are in a shopping centre, leisurely walking around, and all around you people are walking, stopping, talking, music is playing, windows are filled with goods, prices, colours, and signs to get your attention.

At the same time your mind is busy thinking about what you need.

Your “unconscious” is quickly (very quickly) deleting all the information that you do not need.

Your “Reticular Activating System” will seek for relevance in what is happening around you.

If you have ever been in a large crowd, but easily spotted a face you knew, that is your RAS in action. Your brain will scan the crowd, and you may not remember a face, but if it finds “significance” in one, you are alerted. (This is also a basic part of traditional goal setting, as your brain will always “look” for you are seeking. Be it positive or negative.)

The second filter we use is “Distortion”.

We usually tend to do this unconsciously and with our internal dialogue. That little voice in our heads that rarely keeps quite. And it goes something like this:

You are sitting at your desk at work and the phone rings. (The phone is the external event). You choose to answer it (you have not “deleted” the ringing by ignoring it).

Your boss says: “Come to my office, I need to see you.”

Click, as soon as you hang up and get ready to go your little voice starts, and for many people would go something like this:

“What now?” “What have I done wrong?” “They only call you when something is wrong, I have had enough…”.

Of course, you will only found out what “the boss” wants to say by going to the office. It may be bad, but it may just as well be good.

But, based on previous experiences, we have already “distorted’ the event in our mind.

The third filter is “Generalization”.

Often when something happens we do not stop to analyze it and then consciously decide how to respond. Most of the time we are on auto-pilot.

We tend to react, and respond, automatically. Sometimes generalizing even when we do not have a base for it.

I wonder if this ever happened to you. You do something that maybe was wrong in the eyes of your partner. (It may have been ok with someone else, but in your partner’s book, you broke some rule).

For example you did not take the rubbish out before the collectors came. Or you left something lying around where it does not belong. Or you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home. Whatever.

And your partner response is” You ALWAYS do that”.  “You NEVER remember to do it”. “I always have to do it for you”. And so on.

Of course, in your own mind you are probably thinking “Always? Never? Let’s not exaggerate……just because I did it once……”

That’s an example of how we use our internal dialogue to generalize and give a meaning to something.

These filters are also based on two other important factors, your

• Values and your
• Beliefs

Depending what you put value on or what you believe to be important, you will tend to filter differently.

For example, you are watching television. A commercial for a charity organization comes up. How do you “unconsciously” react?

• Do you change channels because you hate commercials?
• Do you tell yourself that there are already too many charities soliciting by email, door knocking and ads?
• Do you get up and make a cup of tea and do not even notice the ad?
• Do you get up and call with your credit card ready?

Of course, the above is just an example. But you get the idea. You will choose to respond to something that matters for you. (And the late night infomercials know this!).

Once your filters have done their job, you will start to form an image in your mind.

Or it may be a feeling, a sensation. In any case there will be a ‘physical’ response if the event was significant.

To return to the above example of the boss’ call. As you tell yourself that bad news are coming, you will start to get tense. Your breathing will change. You will probably create a picture of doom and reprimands. And you will start to be agitated even before you got there.

Depending on your feelings (anger, apprehension, fear, excitement, etc.) your physiology will also change. And so on.

You have started reacting to the external event, even before knowing what it was!

Your “reality” was created in your mind!

Of course, once you enter the office and discover that you just got a promotion, you will feel silly for worrying.

But will it stop you from reacting the same way next time?

Only if you change your beliefs!

Because as you change your beliefs, you change your expectations. And this will change the way your RAS (Reticular Activating System) filters events.

By changing your beliefs you will change your focus, therefore changing the meaning of your reality.

Are your current beliefs supporting you, or are they holding you back?

If you are not sure, but you would like to be, you can either contact us for a one on one session or you can download your free Belief buster Workbook here.

 Beliefs are formed by giving a “meaning” to something that happened, and then using a generalization. (Read how we give a meaning to what happens here)

It is usually done unconsciously and most people are not really aware of they really belief.

More in detail, there five different ways in which beliefs are formed:

1. By our Environment
2. By past events (Significant Emotional Events)
3. Knowledge we acquire
4. Past results we have obtained
5. Future pacing an outcome or situation

Our Environment:
Obviously, as soon as we are born, we do not have much choice about the environment we are in. (Even if some people believe that we do choose our parents when we are born, and therefore we are also choosing our environment).

We are born into a family (hopefully, as some newborns are abandoned at birth) that may comprise two parents or one, siblings or not, a religious faith or not, a conservative or liberal attitude, plenty of money and abundance or poverty and lack of resources, a white middle class neighbourhood or an Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern, etc.

So many contributing factors are influencing what we will “believe” from the moment we enter this life.
We are influenced by:

• Our relatives

• Our friends

• The school we went to

• Any religious group we may belong to

• Any sport or recreation group be belong to

• Etc.

Especially growing up, we tend to learn by observing and listening to the people we have around. We listen to our parents’ discussion about work, money, sex, politics, etc. And we start forming our beliefs.

Past significant emotional events:

I think that the key-word here is “significant”.
Not every event is determinant in forming a “belief”. But an event that has a “significant” emotional attachment can be pivotal in belief development.

Anything we attach a strong emotion to will tend to influence our thoughts and behaviour.
For example, if I am a shy teenager and while at the local club with my friends, I approach a girl a fancy and ask her to dance.

Let’s say that her reply is less then polite, not only refusing to dance with me but also making fun of me and embarrassing me in front of my friends before walking away.

Under such emotional state, it would be plausible for me to associate a lot of pain and embarrassment with “asking a girl to dance”.
It could probably lead to believe that girls are cruel, I am not attractive enough and in the future I better not approach a girl and risk embarrassment.
Now that this basic belief has planted its roots in my mind, every time a girl is somewhat rude, unapproachable, detached, etc., my belief is reinforced.

Knowledge we acquire:
If we keep an open enough mind, we can always be learning something new. Many times what we learn can challenge our current beliefs.
We used to believe that the sun rotated around the earth till we learnt the opposite.
Probably our great grandparents never believed that one day we could go as tourist on the moon. Especially in our technological advanced society, our beliefs about what is possible is challenged so quickly that is mind boggling. Nano-technology, micro chips, internet, micro surgery, genetically modified, etc.

It would have appeared “unbelievable” just few years ago.

Now we all believe. No doubts. We have learnt it through experience. Of course, for some people, some beliefs are so important (core beliefs) that even when presented with proof or knowledge of the contrary, it is not enough to challenge them.

Past results we have obtained:
Often in life we form our beliefs by the result we get when trying something new.
When we try something new for the first time, a new behaviour or a strategy, we notice what the outcome is and often a belief is born. We do this from an early age, unconsciously, since we were babies.
At a very young age we noticed that when we cried one or both of our parents would come rushing to check what was going on. So we started to believe that every time we cried, we got attention.

And it worked!

Well, it worked till a certain age. Eventually we got to an age where we were told to stop crying for nothing. At this point most kids start to believe that they have to find a new way to get attention.
Usually they believe that if they cry louder, harder and longer (especially in public places) it may do the trick. If not, they get creative and start getting attention with other behaviour, at times positive such as getting good grades, or at other times negative, like being always naughty.

PS: Kids know that getting attention is just a game. Click here to watch this video. (Embed video of crying baby here).

Future pacing an outcome or situation

When thinking about a future situation or outcome there are only two instances:
1. You have never tried it before.
You have never done, made, said, performed, experienced, etc, this situation before. It is something new for you.

2. You have tried it before. You have done, said, experienced, made, etc, before. It is something you have a memory of.

If you have never tried it before.

If you are about to do, say, make, try, etc, something new, it should stand to reason that you should not have pre conceived opinions (beliefs) about your ability to do it and its outcome. You have had no direct experience to it.
In reality we both know that probably we already have a belief about it. As we have seen above it will be based on other beliefs that we picked up growing up. (Our environment, past events, Knowledge we acquired or Past results). If we saw our parents struggle all their lives with a small business, we may have a belief about small business that will influence us if we thought about starting a business ourselves.

We may know someone that has tried it before, and we may use his/her results and beliefs as a model for us. Or we have read or heard something about it. May be a documentary created our belief. In any case, often when trying something for the first time, we already have an expectation (belief) about the outcome and what it will mean to us.

If you have tried it before.

If you are about to do or try something that you have experienced before, the past outcome and the meaning that you have associated with it, will be the base for your future expectation.

Many leaders in the field of personal development use a very simple graph to illustrate the concept, as shown below:

Usually our beliefs are the basis of what we can expect to achieve, have, do and contribute.
Our potential is just a reflection of what we believe ourselves capable of.

As the above graphic illustrate, we usually start with “an idea or belief” about what a possible outcome could be. The outcome that we expect to achieve can be described as our “potential”. Based on this we take action. Obviously our actions will generate a result, either getting us closer to desired outcome or further away. The result we have achieved will usually reinforce the belief we had (or create a new one), and the circle starts again.

Let’s have a look at an example.

You start your own business as a consultant, even if deep down you believe that selling yourself is hard. Because you believe that selling your services is hard, you do not really expect to secure too many clients initially (your potential). Of course you will have a reason for your beliefs; the economy is down, there is a crisis, there is the competition, nobody knows you, etc. but it is still a belief. Because you do not expect too much and you believe that selling is hard you dread making cold calling and soliciting business.

You only make few calls a day (if that) and when you attend a network event you stand on the sideway watching others mingling. After few weeks of these “actions”, the results clearly indicate that no new business came in. (Obviously, the results are a direct indication of the actions taken). Looking at the results, or lack of thereof, your belief is reinforced; “Selling your self is hard!” You have the proof.

This belief will further reinforce itself and lower your future expectations (your potential). And you can guess yourself what kind of actions you will take in this frame of mind, and the consequent results.

And the cycle repeats itself. Till you change either your belief or your actions. By changing your belief about what is possible, you will be driven to take different actions. This will result in different results will create a new and stronger belief. This time the cycle will continue on the upside.

If you would like to read more about how the belief cycle is formed, read our article “The belief Cycle” here.

To learn how you can change your beliefs and start taking different actions, visit our resource page for your free Belief Buster Workbook.