Let’s look at this cycle in detail as it is the basis of the reality that we experience in life.
Usually our beliefs are the basis what we can expect to achieve, have, do and contribute.
Our potential is just a reflection of what we believe ourselves capable of.
Most people have a misconception about “potential”, and are not even sure how to define it. An apt definition from the dictionary is:
Potential;
Adj.
• Capable of being but not yet in existence; latent
Noun
• The inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or coming into being.
• Something possessing the capacity for growth or development.
I f we look at nature, things are quite simple in their complexity.
You take a tomato seed and, unless you decide to genetically modify it, the potential is limited to grow into a mature tomato plant.
There isn’t really any other “capacity for growth and development”. Of course, there is potential for plants to cross pollinate and create different seeds, but the seed itself has a limited potential.
For humans it is more complex. Especially in regards to emotional, intellectual and spiritual “potential”.
Imagine you walk into your local hospital; go straight to the maternity ward.
There, all cutely lined up, are all the new born babies.
Some are sleeping, some are feeding and of course, some are crying.
You take one in your hands and look at it.
Trying to define the potential (the inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or coming into being) of this baby would be impossible. Could you put any labels on him/her?
Could you say any of the following?
“You will be a smart and successful person”.
“You will be a failure that will never achieve much”.
“You will never be happy”
“You will be respected and acknowledged”.
Could you? Of course not! This baby has the potential to achieve anything and everything! (And so do you, by the way.)
So what will determine what this baby will achieve when he/she will grow up?
You may think that the environment will play a part, and you would be partially right. Surely education and experiences will play their role.
But in the end, the only limit on this baby’s potential is his/hers own belief about what he/she can achieve.
Depending on what we believe our potential to be, we will take or avoid specific actions.
If I believe that I have the potential to create a successful business, I will go ahead and take the actions required to do so.
Inversely if I believe that I lack that potential I may never take that step. Another example is young man intent to approach an attractive girl.
If this boy believes that he has the potential to attract an attractive female, he will take confident and decisive steps to approach the girl and ask her out.
But if he believes that he does not have the potential to attract an attractive girl, he may not approach her, or if he did anyway, probably his attempt would be weak and uncertain.
The actions we take (or not take) will determine the results we get (or not get).
It is obvious that the results we experience in life are a direct consequence of the action we have taken. Sure, some people may argue that “others are to blame” for their circumstances.
Some people blame their parents, their spouses, the government, etc. They believe that their lack of results is not their fault.
Let me tell you something that I believe; they are in denial. Sure, at times things do happen to us that are beyond our control, sometimes bad things. But we are always in control of HOW we decide to respond to what has happened. We are ALWAYS in control of the “meaning” that we want to attach to events.
Therefore, if we are not getting the results we want, we can always try new actions, behaviours and beliefs, till we achieve what we want.
Therefore, if you are not getting the results you want in your life, ask yourself: “What do I need to change to achieve my goal? What beliefs and actions would get me closer to my goal?” Ask yourself these questions, and notice what happens.
Naturally, as we have seen before, the results we get will reinforce our beliefs or assist us in creating a new one.
If we started out believing that we could not achieve something, but tried anyway and then found out that we can actually do it, there is a good chance that our belief has been challenged enough for us to form a new one. Do you remember how you felt the first time you jumped from a high trampoline into a pool? For most people there was a belief that they were going to die, till they jumped anyway, and survived. The belief changed instantly into “Jumping is fun!”
Of course, there are some people that, regardless of the results they get, find it hard to let go of their beliefs regardless of the results they get. That is because their beliefs shape their identity so profoundly that by allowing a belief to be changed would be too traumatic.
A sad and common example is people with an eating disorder. They believe that they are fat and that if they eat even a little they will get even fatter. Nothing is going to change that belief, not the feedback from friends of families, not the feedback from a loved one, not the advice from the doctor, not the reflection in the mirror, not the size of their clothes that shrinks down. Their belief is too strong; it is a reflection of some other internal “issue” they are facing. And until they change their beliefs nobody will succeed in helping them change their actions (the non eating).
To explain further why I think that working with the belief system is fundamental; let me give you another example.
In the last couple of years a film has gained notoriety worldwide; “The secret”. In case you never hear of it, let me give you a very quick synopsis. Famous personal development gurus explain that you can (to an extent) control your external circumstances by directing the focus of your attention on what you want to “manifest” (create) in your life. By focussing on what you want with a sense of expectation and by visualising (creating mental pictures of what you want to achieve) your goal you will influence your external reality. I am obviously giving a very short summary that does not give credit to the amount of detail the movie goes into. I suggest that if you are interested in the topic you watch the movie.
As I know many people that have watched the movie and tried the suggested technique, I was able to observe a pattern in the results achieved by practicing the above technique. Usually the result would follow into two categories:
1. They tried the visualization and manipulating their feelings, but nothing happened. They did not get what they wanted.
2. They used the technique and it worked for some things, but not for all of them.
This made me think. Why would a technique work for some people and not for others, and why not all the time? A little investigation made me believe (it is just my interpretation of events, not a provable fact) that the people that were successful were so because they already believed that they could achieve their goal.
I do believe that by creating internal pictures of what we want to achieve we influence the unconscious mind. I believe that by placing ourselves in a positive and supportive state we are more probable of achieving our goal. BUT only if, at an unconscious level, we believe that we are capable or worth of it.
If deep inside we do not believe that we are capable or worth of something, no technique will ever get us there.
That is why most people get frustrated with the process and give up. They did not uncover and address their current limiting beliefs.
Therefore my suggestion is that before (or at least while) you start changing your actions, you also address your beliefs. Because at the end it will be your beliefs that will determine your outcomes.
To learn more about your beliefs and to start changing them, you can download your free Belief Buster Workbook here.